I need a little help. My daughter and her "BFF" and I use that term loosely are in a make or break fight. I have never really been sure about this friendship as I feel that the other girl is very possessive of Megan. She doesn't want Megan to play/talk to any other girls. She calls all the time. She causes Meg to be late to class. When Meg told her she couldn't wait for her to walk to class together because her mom was upset with all her tardies the girl laid a massive guilt trip on. So I am having a hard time. Megan wants me to advise her on what to do in regards to this argument. Besides my reservations about this particular friendship, I keep reminding myself that I have no business telling Megan what to do as I have always (well until recently) kissed the asses of all my friends, bent over backwards and then let them walk all over me. Whats funny about that is even in doing all of that to make/keep friends it bit me in the rear because I still don't have any really close "girlfriends"
Megan has decided that she really doesn't want to be friends with her anymore but she doesn't know how to break it off. The other girls mother called me today to ask about Megan's side of things because apparently the other girl is very upset that Megan won't accept her apology. I don't know what to do. I want Megan to be happy but at this point she has alienated all her other friends, she had few anyway. So I don't want her to loose the only friend she has right now even if it is a friend that doesn't build her up. I am at a loss and even though it has nothing to do with me it is really eating at my gut. Thoughts or suggestions from the non friend challenged sect...
2 comments:
I think as a mother you should be very proud of your daughter. She is confident enough in herself to realize that this friendship is not a healthy one. Any relationship, whether it's a friendly or romantic one, should foster growth, safety and security. Control should never factor into any relationship. Of course, we're talking about young girls and fights are going to happen. I had many good friends in school and I'm sure my mother could tell you I got dramatic about several of the arguments I had.
However, if it's a serious pattern and if the control starts to affect school, then it's a problem and you should applaud Megan for sticking up for herself and realizing she should surround herself by people who won't encourage her to do something neither she, nor her mother, would be proud of.
As for how to end the friendship, I would encourage her to do so with a respectful finality. I think she could tell her friend she wishes her the best, but that it's time for both of them to move on. If she decides to give her friend another chance, i would suggest Megan set firm ground rules and be specific about not being late for classes, having other friends, etc.
Good luck :)
Thanks, Heather for the words of encouragment and good thoughts.
From: Megan :)
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